Stop Colorizing the Classics!!

Just a note to all you TV people... Stop colorizing old classics! I just saw an ad for the much-beloved Alistair Sim version of "A Christmas Carol" aka "Scrooge", and of course, it's the horrible colorized version they're going to show this year. Stop it! Do you networks think that all your viewers are such uncultured drooling morons, incapable of possibly sitting through anything not in "glorious color"?

Okay, I know what you're going to say - sure, maybe I can figure out how to turn the color down on my TV - maybe... but what a pain. It all seems so unnecessary.

Don't you jerks (I'm looking at you, CBC...) realize that many of these movies were shot the way their were with special use of the medium that the filmmakers had to work with at the time? Don't you see their utilization of contrast, of black and white, of depth and light - to create that timeless atmosphere and feeling? Do you really need to ruin all that by splashing a sickly artificial color tone on top of it? C'mon people, it looks like a pastel nightmare!

A Salute!

photo via Merchant of Venom.

I salute you, sir! Let's give the political correctness a rest, because, come on, who are we kidding - It's a Christmas Tree.

The Pumpkin Pie Shake!

Have you seen this?

I'm not known to be a frequent customer of Dairy Queen, but I've been making regular trips there lately thanks to their new offering, the Pumpkin Pie Royal Shake!

I don't know how to explain it, but it's basically like drinking a cold smooth pumpkin pie ...and I do love me some pumpkin pie after all!

I know pumpkin themed drinks and treats seem to be all the rage now, but you should go try this one! I would advise though, to wait a day or two between shakes - otherwise you'll probably get a little "pumpkin fatigue". Truly though, it is pretty awesome :)

And to you folks at Dairy Queen - if you appreciate the mention, I wouldn't mind at all if you wanted to send a little something my way :)

 

Crib TMNT?

I think I know what this means, but is it okay if I tell people that the Ninja Turtles are coming to play cribbage at this local seniors center?

Quit With The "WB & DC Comics Has A 'No Jokes' Rule For Their Movies" Rumor Already!

The latest rumor going around is about how Warner Brothers and DC Comics' are imposing a "No Jokes" order for their movies - suggesting that DC movies are going to be super dramatic, serious, and humorless.

WHAT IS THIS STUPID RUMOR BASED ON?! Apparently someone was asking SOMETHING about the several DC movies that are in the works right now, and the comment from inside WB was "No jokes".

Those spreading this rumor - DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND A LITTLE THING CALLED CONTEXT? What was the actual comment or question that this "No jokes" thing was a response to? I don't know! WHO KNOWS? Nobody has provided a QUOTE for the QUESTION THAT WAS ASKED to give any CONTEXT for this apparent "No jokes" answer from WB-DC.

Do people actually think that WB is giving the order to have "No jokes" in their DC movies? Tell me, which is more likely to be the case with this apparent "No jokes" thing;

1. Reporter: Wow WB, are you really going to be making 7 or 8 DC comics movies in the next few years?
WB: We are, no jokes!

or

2. Reporter: For the several DC comics movies you have on the schedule up to 2019, are they going to have much in the way of humor, wisecracks, or jokes?
WB: Oh, our movies will have no jokes.

All the debate about this supposed "No jokes" dictum by WB are just wasting everyone's time. Think about it! The story is just CLICKBAIT, people! Don't be stupid!

Yeah, I know that all anyone seems to care about these days is the headline and pageview count, and I know "professional" journalism is in a horrifying state in 2014 - perhaps even more so in the entertainment sphere - but please folks, take a minute to ASK QUESTIONS about a rumor before you kick it down the line! You'll do your reputation a favor in the long-run.

Ok, I'll Say It; Summer Is Horrible.

Yeah, I'll probably feel differently in five minutes, but you've got to let me get this off my chest.

Summer is horrible.

I get up in the morning and before I've done anything, I'm sweating. Sticky, greasy, smelly sweat. I'm just sitting in a chair, sweating. I've hardly even moved yet today, what did I do to deserve it? Go have a shower, get out, and then start sweating again. The air starts to get heavy. I feel strange, it's almost like being sick. I'm know not sick, but I feel like I'm sick. It's going to be a looong day.

Ok, sure, but what about all the great things you can do in the summer, like going to the beach? Yeah, the beach! The beach is great! The oppressive unceasing sun beating down on your already blistered red skin, inducing a paranoia to inspect that weird brown spot on your elbow every five minutes. The dry, aching, cracked lips. The boiling, soupy, eye-stinging salt water that leaves a pale brown foam and makes your hair all crusty. The horrible infestation of sand that gets EVERYWHERE; in your butt crack, in your armpit hair, in your eyelashes - and boy, if you get it in your shoes, IT AIN'T EVER GOING AWAY.

And this is not to mention the people at the beach. Folks shamelessly walking around letting all their flappy folds of flesh hang out EVERYWHERE. But not only that; even normally attractive people look gross and old at the beach. The harsh unforgiving light of the summer sun accentuates every pimple, bump, and crease, and the salty water washes off all the makeup and makes your hair look thin and straw-like. On the beach, you look like greasy month-old ham with sweat-caked dog hair on top.

"Oh, well why not just go inside and turn on the air conditioning?" Well, that's great if you have it, but what if you dont? Any hey, it's not like electricity costs any money! Summer blackouts from the overload on the power grid, what could be more fun?

Well at least I can go out and enjoy the life and the energy of those cool summer nights, right? Sounds great! But NOPE. This potentially wonderful nocturnal reprieve from the blistering heat is ruined by the most aggravating of creatures; That's right, the mosquito. The bane of my existence for 3 months every year. SLAP and SCRATCH and BLEED, SLAP and SCRATCH and BLEED, SLAP and SCRATCH and BLEED. AAAAARRRRRGH! My arms and legs make it look like I picked a fight with an alley cat in heat!

Want to hang out at a friend's evening backyard party? TOO BAD, THE MOSQUITOES ARE OUT! Light some candles or spray yourself with all the toxic chemicals you want - it won't help, you'll see. "These mosquitoes are eating me alive! We'd better go inside!"  Well that's fine, but I ALREADY SPENT ALL MY TIME INSIDE OVER THE WINTER!

At least everything is a wonderful lush green now. Oh wait, it was already lush and green in the spring! At least I could go out in the fresh fragrant spring air without MY LUNGS HEAVING WITH HUMIDITY, without MY SKIN SCORCHED AND INSECT BITTEN or without MY SMELLY CLOTHES STICKING TO MY GREASY SWEAT DRENCHED BODY.

Come to think of it, maybe that's what Summer really is; a twisted, mutated, steroided-out extreme version of Spring. AND IT JUST WON'T END.

But in case I haven't said it - Oh Autumn, with your crisp, fresh, invigorating touch. I love you. Come quickly.

Please, share your comments!

Parking Lot Humor

On a recent outing, I noticed these in a couple of parking lots;

Amen.

Classy!

 Not "show accurate" but I can understand why they didn't put "Police Box" on there...