Ok, I'll Say It; Summer Is Horrible.

Yeah, I'll probably feel differently in five minutes, but you've got to let me get this off my chest.

Summer is horrible.

I get up in the morning and before I've done anything, I'm sweating. Sticky, greasy, smelly sweat. I'm just sitting in a chair, sweating. I've hardly even moved yet today, what did I do to deserve it? Go have a shower, get out, and then start sweating again. The air starts to get heavy. I feel strange, it's almost like being sick. I'm know not sick, but I feel like I'm sick. It's going to be a looong day.

Ok, sure, but what about all the great things you can do in the summer, like going to the beach? Yeah, the beach! The beach is great! The oppressive unceasing sun beating down on your already blistered red skin, inducing a paranoia to inspect that weird brown spot on your elbow every five minutes. The dry, aching, cracked lips. The boiling, soupy, eye-stinging salt water that leaves a pale brown foam and makes your hair all crusty. The horrible infestation of sand that gets EVERYWHERE; in your butt crack, in your armpit hair, in your eyelashes - and boy, if you get it in your shoes, IT AIN'T EVER GOING AWAY.

And this is not to mention the people at the beach. Folks shamelessly walking around letting all their flappy folds of flesh hang out EVERYWHERE. But not only that; even normally attractive people look gross and old at the beach. The harsh unforgiving light of the summer sun accentuates every pimple, bump, and crease, and the salty water washes off all the makeup and makes your hair look thin and straw-like. On the beach, you look like greasy month-old ham with sweat-caked dog hair on top.

"Oh, well why not just go inside and turn on the air conditioning?" Well, that's great if you have it, but what if you dont? Any hey, it's not like electricity costs any money! Summer blackouts from the overload on the power grid, what could be more fun?

Well at least I can go out and enjoy the life and the energy of those cool summer nights, right? Sounds great! But NOPE. This potentially wonderful nocturnal reprieve from the blistering heat is ruined by the most aggravating of creatures; That's right, the mosquito. The bane of my existence for 3 months every year. SLAP and SCRATCH and BLEED, SLAP and SCRATCH and BLEED, SLAP and SCRATCH and BLEED. AAAAARRRRRGH! My arms and legs make it look like I picked a fight with an alley cat in heat!

Want to hang out at a friend's evening backyard party? TOO BAD, THE MOSQUITOES ARE OUT! Light some candles or spray yourself with all the toxic chemicals you want - it won't help, you'll see. "These mosquitoes are eating me alive! We'd better go inside!"  Well that's fine, but I ALREADY SPENT ALL MY TIME INSIDE OVER THE WINTER!

At least everything is a wonderful lush green now. Oh wait, it was already lush and green in the spring! At least I could go out in the fresh fragrant spring air without MY LUNGS HEAVING WITH HUMIDITY, without MY SKIN SCORCHED AND INSECT BITTEN or without MY SMELLY CLOTHES STICKING TO MY GREASY SWEAT DRENCHED BODY.

Come to think of it, maybe that's what Summer really is; a twisted, mutated, steroided-out extreme version of Spring. AND IT JUST WON'T END.

But in case I haven't said it - Oh Autumn, with your crisp, fresh, invigorating touch. I love you. Come quickly.

Please, share your comments!

Parking Lot Humor

On a recent outing, I noticed these in a couple of parking lots;

Amen.

Classy!

 Not "show accurate" but I can understand why they didn't put "Police Box" on there...

Think About It: "Tolerance"

"Tolerance."

Have you ever noticed that whenever someone implores you to be "tolerant", they always place within that request an expectation for you to not tolerate something? Think about it.

What are these people really saying when they demand you to be "tolerant"? Are they really "tolerant" of your view if they expect that you should change it? See what I mean?

What do people really mean by "tolerance"? Tolerance of what?

The same holds true for "close-mindedness". You'll notice that whenever someone dismisses your view because it's "close-minded", that they're actually being "close-minded" to the possibility you could be right.

So where does that lead us? What should we be tolerant of, and intolerant of? Should each person just be tolerant of whatever they feel like they should be tolerant of? Should you be tolerant of something simply because another person tells you you should, or because the majority opinion of the day says you should?

Is it actually a question of "tolerance" at all?

Who's standard should we use to determine what to be tolerant of and what not to, after all? I do have an answer, but you're probably not going to like it...

Think about it.

The Appropriately Named Calgary Marathon Winner!

Okay, how cool is this?

(from the Calgary Herald) 
"Kip Kangogo’s daughter won’t know it for a few years, but she received a priceless birthday present on Sunday. Emma turns one in Lethbridge on Monday and her dad, running just his fourth marathon, won the Scotiabank Calgary Marathon just for her with a record race of two hours, 19 minutes and 47 seconds."

Kip Kangogo? Yes, he can.

Top 10 Coolest Batman - Doctor Who Mashups!

Batman & Doctor Who. Two very cool things that you wouldn't think of going together, but like peanut butter and chocolate, these two things make a great combination!

10. DC & BBC, make this happen! 

By Brad Matthews

9. A Batman/Doctor Who animated film? How cool would that be?

By Dan Gallagher

8. What the Doctor would have to deal with if he didn't have his sonic screwdriver...

by Marc Keller

7. Could you imagine a dark, moody episode of Doctor Who where the Doctor and Batman have to take on some Weeping Angels?

By Gabriel Hardman

6. That Dalek didn't stand a chance...

By GaugeX

5. Fantastic cover, now I want this artist to draw the rest of the book!

By Elvin Hernandez

4. I'd pay money to see this...

by djtoad

3. Yes, there's even a video!

 2. You've got to love this strip... makes a lot of sense, actually :)

 

 

by nebezial

1. I love this piece, everything about it is just great, isn't it?

by dryponder

Do you know any great Doctor Who/Batman mash-ups I've missed?

DC Comics and The Big Bang Theory; The Opportunities

CBS's wildly popular "The Big Bang Theory", while not my cup of tea, seems to have a really nice relationship with DC Comics.

 
The characters are always visiting the local comic shop where a treasure trove of DC comics and merchandise are displayed quite conspicuously. They frequently wear DC-themed t-shirts and merchandise, and on special occasions, even dress like DC characters. I get the impression that they even mention DC comics characters and events pretty frequently.

That in mind, I had some thoughts about how DC could further exploit and respond to this cozy relationship;

- Thanks to Sheldon, the Flash symbol is one of the most visible graphics in America right now. Now, The Flash in CW network's upcoming The Flash tv show features a symbol on his chest that mostly resembles the classic version, but instead of the red color in it, they should go back to the more recognizable classic white and also make the symbol a little bigger. Brightening the costume's red color slightly might be nice too. Perhaps we can hope this recently-revealed costume is just the Flash's prototype suit anyway?

- With Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman and Cyborg all confirmed to be showing up in the upcoming untitled Batman vs. Superman movie - Warner Brothers should capitalize on The Big Bang Theory exposure also, and strive to get the Flash (whether it's Grant Gustin or someone else) and a new Green Lantern on the big screen (if only as cameo), and in the movie-going public's consciousness sooner than later.

- WB should also pull some strings and get the Man of Steel himself, Henry Cavill, to make an appearance on The Big Bang Theory. If you're thinking that Cavill is too big for the small screen - well, when we're talking about the huge audience The Big Bang Theory garners - virtually nobody is "too big". Besides, he's a really nice guy and I don't think the female audience would mind seeing him either. I'm sure the writers could come up with an entertaining reason for him to meet up with Sheldon and the gang. Like I said, I don't really care for the show, but even I would tune in for that. Didn't I hear that Henry Cavill and Kaley Cuoco were seeing each other a while back?

- Finally, DC could even put out a Big Bang Theory comic mini-series (perhaps make it very tongue in cheek and include DC characters), and add some promotion to entice people to read other DC titles.

Anyway, what do you think of my ideas for DC to make the most of their Big Bang notoriety? What are your ideas?

Ninja Turtles - Fixed!

I came across this great image where a guy took the Ninja Turtles from the upcoming movie and made them look a lot more like the Turtles we already know and love. Check out both Michelangelo and Leonardo below. The difference is quite striking, It's a HUGE improvement.